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Microsoft word - joke5.doc

FILIPI FILIPINO COMMUNITY IN BRISTOL
FLAT 7, THE GLEBE, GLEBE ROAD, BRISTOL, ENGLAND, BS5 8LU TEL. / FAX NO. 0117-9414672 ANG NAKARAAN. May ibinulong ang daga sa elepante. Biglang hinimatay ang elepante. Ano ang ibinulong ng daga? DAGA: Buntis ako, ikaw ang ama! SA PAGPAPATULOY. . Dahil di makapaniwala ang elepante, dinala nya ang daga sa doctor. Tuwang-tuwa ang elepante at masayang ibinulong sa daga ang resulta ng ultrasound. Biglang hinimatay ang daga. Ano ang ibinulong ng elepante? ELEPANTE: Ako nga ang ama, at elepante ang anak natin, at kambal sila! =) ------------ --------- ------- Isang lalaki na-admit sa St. Luke's sunog dalawang hita. DR: Nurse, i-dextrose mo tapos antibiotic, burn cream at Viagra. Nurse: Viagra? DR: para di sumayad yung kumot sa sugat. =) ------------ --------- ------- TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino at Apolinario Mabini? STUDENT: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak ng holiday! J ------------ --------- ------- TITSER: Juan, use recharge & caffeine in a sentence. JUAN: Si "Recharge" Gutierrez ay si "Caffeine" Barbell. J ------------ --------- ------- ERAP: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD. FPJ: Anong problema? ERAP: Walang picture, tsaka sound. Sayang. Suspense thriller pa yata to. Tsk, tsk. FPJ: Anong title? ERAP: "The Lens Cleaner" ------------ --------- --------- BUNSO: Tay, may multo daw sa kusina natin? FILIPI FILIPINO COMMUNITY IN BRISTOL
FLAT 7, THE GLEBE, GLEBE ROAD, BRISTOL, ENGLAND, BS5 8LU TEL. / FAX NO. 0117-9414672 TATAY: Anak, sino naman nagsabi sayo nyan? BUNSO: Si ate po! TATAY: Ay nako, wag ka nga magpapaniwala dun! Wala namang multo eh! Ang mabuti pa samahan mo na lang ako sa kusina, at iinom lang ako ng tubig. ------------ --------- --------- --- BATA: Pabili nga po ng ubas. TINDERO: Wala kame ubas .kinabukasan. . BATA: Pabili nga po ng ubas. TINDERO: Wala kame ubas .kinabukasan ulet. BATA: Mama, pabili nga po ng ubas. TINDERO: Sinabi na ngang wala e! Pag nagtanong ka pa, iistepler ko na yang bibig mo! .kinabukasan ulet. BATA: Mama, may stapler kayo? TINDERO: wala. BATA: Pabili nga po ng ubas ------------ --------- --------- --- Psychological Fact: "All emotional pain lasts for 12 minutes. Anything longer than that is self inflicted." In short, nag-iinarte ka na lang daw nun! =) ------------ --------- --------- - AMO: Inday, ilipat ang comforter sa kwarto. INDAY: San ko ilagay kuya? AMO: Ipatong mo lang sa kama Maya-maya. . INDAY: Andun na po. Sinama ko na rin ang frenter at iskaner.=) ------------ --------- --------- PROMDI: Lam ko promdi lang ako kaya wag mo kong lolokohin! Bakit ganito ang kwarto ko?!?! Maliit, wala pang kama at bintana. ha?!?! ROOMBOY: Sir, nasa elevator pa lang po tayo. ------------ --------- --------- Bill gates' wife was interviewed. . REPORTER: How does it feel to have sex with the richest man? MRS. GATES: Oh, it's no big deal. Now I know why his company's named MICROSOFT! J ------------ --------- --------- - MRS: Bakit ngayon ka lang? MR: Pasensha na, nagyaya mga officemates ko, nagkainuman lang. Hehe! MRS: Lasing ka no? MR: Hindi! MRS: Anong hindi?! La ka namang trabaho, pano ka nagka-officemates? !!

Source: http://www.filcombristol.co.uk/Joke/joke5.pdf

Microsoft word - lumber jack wood preservers and universal rot and woodworm.doc

LUMBER JACK WOOD PRESERVERS AND UNIVERSAL ROT AND WOOD WORM TREATMENT DESCRIPTION LUMBER JACK WOOD PRESERVERS are a range of solvent based solutions of active fungicides and specifically designed to deeply penetrate all wood and joinery to give long lasting protection from damage caused by wet rot, dry rot, decay and fungi. LUMBER JACK UNIVERSAL ROT AND WOODWORM TREATMENT gives si

Http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-wellbeing/he

Independent.co.uk Why an exotic fruit is the world's only weapon against bird flu By Jeremy Laurance, Health Editor A rare herb grown in China used to flavour duck dishes and treat infants for colic is at the centre of a worldwide search for a cure for avian flu. Star anise, the unusual fruit of a small oriental tree, is sold in supermarkets in the UK to consumers seeking its pungent, liquoric

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